Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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