You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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