Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
pray to the hookup gods
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
