i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
