after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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