Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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