nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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