He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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