yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
