4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
