You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
