it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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