Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
