Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
