he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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