Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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