trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
