oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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