alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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