I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
