This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
