There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
