Your tits are I can't wait for
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
