Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
