going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize