hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
