Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
