i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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