I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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