i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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