Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
