walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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