so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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