Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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