It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
