I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
