Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
