i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
