I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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