nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize