i don't like sucking hair
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
