therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
