Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
