the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
