Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
