Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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