Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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