Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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