i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
