You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
