Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
