what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
