pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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