Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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