More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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