Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
